So the wondrous machine determines my biorhythms

decides on the vitality of my organs

peruses all my systems inside out and outside in;

What is the degree of aging, performance, endurance, wear and tear?

What is the weakest spot of all and where?

And how does it affect, respond, interface with its neighbours?

Where are the blocks and blips

Where are the hot-spots

Not to mention who is to interpret all these reams

of figures, charts, scales and tables?

 

Meanwhile I cogitate and wonder how

can I really tell how I feel

or what I know?

|Even though my destiny were to fly heavenwards, leaping

or to crawl out of the top of my skull into the hinterlands

 the traditional way

how can I know for sure

that what I think I know is what I feel?

 

For here I am, as far as I am aware

happy, peaceful, healthy

blithely believing I am brim with prana, life

that my blood is red and running

while the elements configure smoothly

in this beloved (and supposed) smoothly operating body-machine;

no shortage of attention, care and respect

the Ph monitored, the enzymes  and minerals checked.

Yet the machine is going mad

with  findings of chaos and  confusion in my biology

all its configurations gone bezerk!

 

Who’m I kidding then?  Denying what?

Or it?

Is the blind spot my whole life, my entire being?

Have I not an inkling of what my body says?

All that I know called me

how my heart pumps and pulses

my breath heaves in and out

the life-force silky beneath my skin

and the purring engine in the core of my bones:

these are all I know

in all their wondrous shades and variations.

So who or what is to say

that any of it is Abnormal – by my standards!

or that certain combinations of symptoms

are not proper to my constitution.

 

Gracious me, Doctor dearest

I don’t know what can be done

or even if…

 

April 2007