TWO BADDEST WORDS

For moi.

But it goes back to, starts with the father!

Onceupona, a somewhat big mouthed child, um, cum adolescent

overweening and outrageous for sure

bane of parental - and own selfs’ - life

purveyor of mayhem and dismay

got linguistic comeuppance

 - as only an OE pater could provide -

in cooly irritated response

to the groupie jargon of the times;

“You know”...

No, I don’t.

Disconcerting, huh!

That put paid to the garrulous flow

 in  an instant!

In those days, for the yourhful-herd soul, Y’see and Y’know

prefaced every sentence

and replaced every question mark;

as nowadays, “d’y’know wot I mean”

does the same, with the same presumptions. assumptions

and clumsy longing for connection

and to be heard.

What a woffle-stopper:

No I don’t. 

with a shrivelling look

that vaporised any vain shoots of ego

in a trice;

besides hoping to inculcate virtues 

of brevity, clarity and precision.

What else could the poor man do,

with incorrigible mavericks 

(blacksmiths, horse whisperers

plant-persons, saints and storytellers)

by way of chicks.

Onwards, un-Christianly laggards, drop-outs, devotees and riff-raff...on’it!

On with the tale of my two latter-day, 

direst  words:

Believe … Worry

pushing all the buttons

loaded with ever imaginable prejudice 

- along with sloth, pride, greed,

culpable ignorance, un-listening

as well as most other Victorian vices.

It brings me on to, back to

this same revulsion and reaction

as it erupts down the generations:

the sarcasm, cynicism, judgements

the ability to fault-find, cut short, belittle.

Blame it on frustration or the time of day!

It is a skill, a blight.

Attribute it to innocence or otherwise

lack of compassion, humour or warmth.

Tracing one word back

through the myths and etymology

of its origins, associations, implications,

impelled, propelled 

by meaning and intent:

“Believe”:

A nice conviction

persuaded, conditioned, inspired

whether agnostic, shamanic or Godly

sectarian, idolatrous, scientific;

liable to be upheld as exclusively 

most true, most real and best:

to fight, preach, judge  and die for.

Passport to personal  privilege 

or salvation, 

source of fortitude and hope.

Yet, but…..

Believing can also be blind compliance

fear-based and elitist; 

causing bloodshed and division

in its proselytizing self-righteousness;

Homophobic, racist, sexist - all the ists;

“Worry”:

What a worthy, selfless activity!

Pragmatic concern for others,

for minutiae, veracity, well-being.

Yet, but….

Worrying  may circle round and around

solving nothing, explaining nothing

driving one mad;

it undermines resilience and confidence;

blunting perspective, wasting time

wreaking havoc on nerves and health.

It can become obsessive, 

dependant on addictive substances

 - biting nails, tics, allergies, paranoia.

The antithesis of Peace, faith, love.